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A little insight into the life of Free Spirit - a melting pot of our thoughts, beliefs, suggestions & ideas to inspire you on your path as you journey through life.

Published: 05/10/2016

Learning to Let Go...

I wouldn’t know when my last blog post was if it wasn’t for my own website reminding me, by there being a huge gap in the list of past post dates… It’s ironic because even though it is something I enjoy to do so much… to write, and put my thoughts down on paper, without really minding if anyone reads it… it’s something I can never quite find the time to do.  The task itself, though only taking up no more than 30 minutes, is just hard for me to find 30 minutes of space in my head to really think…and ponder… and be mindful of what the hell it is I want to write about.  Because obviously SOME people are reading and then of course I feel a natural obligation to offer something a little bit interesting and wisely to the reader otherwise, what is the point of a blog..??

So with the feelings of guilt and obligation out of the way, I will begin my latest bit of drivel… I have to say I always find it easier to write when I travel to new places and perhaps that is what has sparked this post.  Winter was a hard slog of 6 often 7 day work weeks and the “Free Spirit” life I was choosing to live wasn’t really working so well, while I was waiting for new stock to arrive and filling the time with Freelance design roles, basically saying yes to everything to keep me afloat!... But the hard work paid off and I found myself with a little spare income for a much needed escape away!... So absorbed I was in everything that was happening with my business I hadn’t realised just how much I needed it until I arrived there, in this little humble town called El Nido, on the north tip of Palawan, an island of The Phillipines.   

Such beautiful landscape of dramatic looming cliffs hugging a bright turquoise ocean, balmy air and such a simplicity to the town that, being in low season, was speckled with tourists but also allowed me an insight into Filipino life.  A whole year since I travelled somewhere new, I somehow settled quite quickly into my new temporary life as a “backpacker” again, if only it was for just a few days. 

I checked into a hostel (because at 34 I wanted to prove to myself I could still do the dorm room thing) and I pleasantly surprised myself… I found I was not only capable but I loved it!... Staying in hostels means you are never really alone, and as someone who to be completely honest isn't always comfortable being alone and also as someone who likes to talk… a lot… this was a good thing for me.  I met a whole diverse range of travellers from a 38 year old American marine to a 19 year old boy from Saudi Arabia who’d left his country for the first time and was so excited to be somewhere he could drink legally!... Also a girl around my age who was travelling with her 60 something old dad who was hanging out with the rest of the crew like he was a 20 something… So refreshing it was to hear everyone’s stories of travel and life… and realising that when you are in this situation, travelling with little posessions, in a foreign land that we are all just there for the experience and that age really…REALLY doesn’t matter at all.

So there I was, in this little corner of paradise, enjoying the boat trips, sunsets and beach parties... and as I chatted with more and more people my inquisitive mind got the better of me as I heard their stories of other amazing sounding places they'd visited on their travels of the Phillipines... and I started to plan... my mind racing excitedly...ok... so what about if I left tomorrow, got a flight here.. a bus there... I could see this... do that... and be back in time for....


I'm not sure what my wake up call was this time, but I realised, possibly for the first time in my life, that I really was just fine where I was.  I have this tendency to always be thinking about what and where to next, rather than just being present in the moment.. a real fear of missing out!  Yes there were places out there that sounded so amazing I felt I'd be missing out if I didn't see, but right here... in this friendly hostel... I had made a great bunch of friends.. in a beautiful town.. that I hadn't even fully discovered yet... why was I in such a rush to leave?   Finally... I LET GO.  I didn't plan anything.. I just let each day unfold and see what happened.. see who I met or where I ended up..  

I took a scooter... and I drove.  On my own.  Up into the hills, along the coast.  Not rushing, not trying to get anywhere, but just feeling the wind in my hair (under my helmet of course, I did wear a helmet, Mum!)... and watching the scenery pass slowly by... children waving, farmers working in their fields, tricycles kicking up black smoke in my face... I felt everything.. and for once, I wasn't so scared of being on my own anymore.  The independence I felt from going at my own pace...with absolutely no plan...was utterly liberating. 

It was like a weight lifted.. and there I was again ... feeling free again... and following my bliss...

And this got me thinking about not only how I travel... but how I live... how many of us live.. We spend huge chunks of our time trying to be in control of everything... trying to juggle 27 balls at a time.. to keep everything going.. everything working in the way we think it should... striving towards goals and successes no matter how big or small.. but what if...WHAT IF... we just stop for a second... and let everything fall..?  The thought is scary, I agree... but sometimes...just sometimes... letting go.. letting the universe do it's thing and seeing where all the juggling balls land ... could open doors where you only thought there were walls... 

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